At press time, representatives of CEG Productions, the trade show division of Construction Equipment Guide (CEG), had just wrapped up late-night negotiations with our “celebrity guest” for the Philadelphia Construction Expo V, to be held at the Fort Washington Expo Center on March 9 and 10, 2004.

Some minor contractual agreements with our celebrity guest remain, such as access to our Learjet, weekend usage of the company’s cabin in the Poconos, along with sundry incentive bonuses and clauses. But we’re confident all these trivial issues soon will be resolved and by the next edition of CEG later this month, we’ll be able to unveil to the masses who he, she, they or it is (are).

Because negotiations currently are in a delicate stage, our attorneys have advised us not to go public with the identity of our celebrity guest. However, we can tell you who it is not.

• Let’s start with last year’s guest, El Wingador. Well, he didn’t finish first at this year’s Wing Bowl and he didn’t come in first in our selection process, either.

• Philadelphia Eagle legend Chuck Bednarik was not available on March 9 and 10.

• And after an exhaustive search across Sweden, we could not locate all of that country’s national treasure, the Swedish Bikini Team. So you could say the band won’t be getting back together for the show.

Nevertheless, mark your calendars for March 9 and 10 and get ready for a great show. Exhibit space is almost entirely filled and should be at capacity by the time you read this.

See you there!

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